You know, we never intended to go into foster care. Not really. Our intent was to adopt a daughter. My husband falls in love so easily though and now we have two little girls with us. The first child in our home was and is the apple of my prince's eyes. Honestly, for a while it did bother me that she could do no (and I truly mean NO) wrong in his eyes. Thankfully we have both come to meet half way on this and he sees things now and I see less things. We had visited with her several times before she was moved into our "foster home" (still seems to strange to say that). It was a relatively smooth transition for all of us though. Now, after five short months, I do not know if I could live without her. She is not ours mind you but in every since of life, she is. Dalton tells her, "Caitin (yes, he leaves the "L" off, sometimes sounds like chicken) morning Caitin," every morning he hears her voice. Hunter even accepted a kiss from the "yucky little girl" tonight. Even "orange juice" loves her to pieces. By the way, that is what is sounds like Caitlin calls Andrew. :-) This was all too simple though, moving her in.
Our true work began with our second child. She had been in a group home and was wild. There is no other words for it. It has taken a total of four weeks just to get her to smile back when we smile instead of grunting or whining. She is a precious child that is in terrible need of consistency. It is such a sad thing to witness a three-year-old with such need to be in control of every situation. I have witnessed adults/teenagers need to control but never a child. This has been our first, 100% foster child. There is so much that you never think of or even dream of that a child in this situation could possible need/want. It has been such a test but I have learnt so much through this process. As my husband and I learned in adoption classes, I have found my limit. Meaning, this child is in transition. She will be "home" very soon and she is tremendously confused as anyone could expect. Transition is just not an easy thing to help a very young child through. Please do not take me the wrong way. I see NOW this child's desperateness from the beginning and that she needs love and nurture and discipline. I have to admit though, in the first days of this trial I did not see all those things. It is my prayer that God will not let me forget so that I might be of more help to the next child He places in our home.
Now that we are in this "foster home" business we cannot seem to get enough. We have already put in to possibly adopt two little girls besides those in our home. Mind you, this is on top of the three boys we have already. Once you get your "hands dirty" in this line of thinking, you cannot help but to want to save them all. I do know that is not possible but I can still pray for those in need. I have to say, I do not understand those that adopt outside of the country. There are so many little ones here that need good homes. So many are sent back into horrible situations because there are not enough adoptive homes to take them in. This is a burden that has been placed on me by my wonderful Lord. With that being said, I have to know my limits and lean on God for those I cannot take in. Lord, please touch those little ones out there tonight that are homeless, suffering, hungry and neglected. Send someone to them to start the healing in their lives. Amen.
